
She stood right at the edge
Part of the crowd, yet not
She took a tentative step forward
And that tiny step was hard fought
She dithered
Not one for new things
Or for crowds, or people
Or open spaces and swings
She wanted to belong
Her heart yearned for more
But she was still on the outside looking in
Her mind might be made, her heart was unsure
She felt cold,
Even as sweat pooled everywhere
Her steps faltered again
And she wanted to be anywhere but there
She could do this,
She had vowed
But here bravado has deserted her
And here she was, yet again, cowed
She looked at the laughing people
And the smiles that were free of fear
She was angry now, and embittered
She felt the tears, cold even as they seemed to sear
Maybe another day
She consoled herself yet again
But she had heard this spiel so many times
That even losing didn’t have it’s usual pain
She would be back, she knew
So what if her fear was stronger than her today
She wouldn’t let it win next time
For she had other dragons to slay
She would beat this
All it would take was trying harder
Anxiety might have won today
But what didn’t kill her made her stronger