Her, not you

Her, not you - Smriti Gour

It took over in a second

And left her breathless and empty

It wrung her emotions and her dry

It was another one of the days, she could see

They were just tears,

She told herself again

Water that meant nothing
Temporary, just like this pain

As her breath was knocked out of her

She tried to calm her deluge of thoughts
The fears she kept tightly bottled
The litany of could not and should nots

She couldn’t answer the same questions
She couldn’t face the world today

The judgement that she STILL wasn’t ok

That it had been months, yet, here she lay

She dealt with her demons

But she couldn’t deal with you

Not your judgment, your advice or your opinion
Or your sigh that she was, still, feeling blue

But she doesn’t need you

If that’s all you can do

She wasn’t looking for attention

Just some support from you
She would wade through the ugliness,

If that’s what it took
She hadn’t earned these battle scars,

To shy away and let her world be shook
She had been doing better

Though the tears had scaled the dam today
And she might not feel like it then

She could still look forward to another day

She hadn’t given up yet

And she was good for another fight
She was healing a little better everyday,

Towards a future maybe not unmarred,

But one that could still be real and full of light … Depression is a debilitating disorder that hurts everyone differently. Comparing experiences and putting a timeline on healing is unfair to everyone involved. We need to be patient for our loved ones with depression and make sure we give them the time and space that THEY need for healing. It might look different from what your version of healing is and could take routes you didn’t expect or agree with. But this is about them and not you and it’s your job to be there for them, however long it takes and whatever it looks like. Every good day is a victory and every bad day is just ephemeral. This too, shall pass