LURKER

- Smriti Gour

What if there was a lurker living in the depths of your mind whose sole purpose seems to be getting you to feel sad, insecure and lacking in all senses of the word? 

What is it like to be stalked by your worst fears and your deepest, darkest thoughts? 

What if all your suppressed thoughts were suddenly all you can think about?  

She shows up out of the blue one day and I’m very unprepared for her to make a permanent place in my life. But as I find out soon enough, I have no control over what she does and says. As her claws dig deeper in my life, I see it all spiralling out of control. Soon, I am reduced to a mess who cries at the slightest hint and closing off all doors which might help. I want help but reject it when offered and I watch helplessly as my life as I knew it crumbles around me. She seems to have a hold on every aspect of my life. Sometimes silent and sometimes verbose, but always hitting right where it hurts. 

‘Her’ – the villain of the protagonist’s life and this story. The story is a first person encounter with ‘her’, the personification of depression.